At first, becoming a bridesmaid is all about a flowery "ask" card and boozy brunches. Pretty soon, though, you're aware of just how much this whole bridal party thing is eating into your schedule. Between work, family, and other obligations, you hadn't expected to take on a full-time job when you accepted your friend's invitation. Here are 3 tips to communicate clearly with the bride about how much you can give to her event.

Be as up front as possible.

If you know when you accept the bride's invitation that you will not be able to make a large time commitment to her, talk about it then. Explain what you have on your plate, and that you would love to participate in her celebration. Ask her what she will need from her bridal party, and whether or not your packed calendar will frustrate her. If later on she changes her tune and is irritated you can't come to her fourth bridal shower, well, that's on her.

Is your friend psychic?

If not, why do you expect her to automatically know that she is planning too many events for you to attend or asking you to spend too much on the dress? Pick a calm moment and address the situation in an honest, compassionate way. Don't be accusatory. Express your concerns and give her the benefit of the doubt. She has a million things occupying her brain right now, and might not have realized the bridal party viewed all of the shopping trips as more of an obligation than a fun time.

Give as much notice as possible, and always give a reason.

Need a break from all of the activities to spend some extra time with family or preparing for work? Give her as much notice as possible, and to alleviate any concerns she might have, also give her a reason. If you agreed to be somewhere, you do need to honor that commitment unless it can't be avoided. By giving the bride a specific reason, you're letting her know that you aren't simply flaking out.

Photography | Powers Photography Studios